Saturday, November 27, 2004

"I Am So Rock-n-Roll!"

Well I gave it a try at country living. Drove a small tractor around my parents property and got it stuck in a sand pit. Good one! That's why I don't have a license. We would fill the wagon on the back of the tractor with cut branches and tree logs, then I would drove it upp the road to a clearing and toss the debris into the woods. Better than any 24 minutes and curves. We worked outside for about 2.5 hours then called it a day.

The turkeys came to visit and I just had an unexpected house guest--a very small, very jumpy frog. No idea how he got in here but I had to rescue him.

Am working on my paper so I probably should sign off. Oh, by the way, the sister-in-law arrived today. Just let out a big sigh not so much of relief but just another hurdle to climb over. Will see what's in store when I get back. Tryin so hard to be positive, as long as I've got Issame's love and support, all should be well.

Keep me in your thoughts....

Friday, November 26, 2004

"River Boats & BBQ"

Turkey
This morning, it was "Revenge of the Turkeys" as it sounded as if they had surrounded the house and were making plans to move in. MY alarm didn;t get me up but they sure did.

We went to Blue Springs National Park and I finally saw my very first live manatee. Everytime I come down, I miss them. Usually I don't come at the right time of year when they migrate down to warmer waters. But my mom thought they might be here because the tempature had started to drop and sure enough, there they were. Very cool!

We took a nature boat along the St. John's River (the longest river in Florida) and saw tons of birds like cattle egrets, red shoulder hawks, turkey vultures, regular vultures, immature & mature ibis & blue herons. Saw a gigantic catfish and one lone alligator.

My mom & I had a giggle fit in the bathroom there and then headed over to a BBQ joint for some lunch/dinner. Now I'm settling in to finally start writing my 12-15 research paper on Ottoman architecture.

Tomorrow...alot of work on the land cleaning up fallen trees & debris. Just call me a little bit country.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

"Get Your Gobble On"

Made it to Florida safe and sound on Tuesday. Mom & Dad have dial up so that explains the lack of posting. Woke up this morning and went outside to walk the grounds and there was a real live turkey hanging out at the end of the driveway. Once he saw me htough, he hauled ass.

I miss my baby though. He's in NYC just lovin' being away from me I'm sure. Habibi, hope you have a relaxing quiet day and good luck on your job interview tomorrow.

I also miss my crazy cat. Even though my parents have outdoor cats, they're not the same as my Buddykins!

I'm thankful for suriving another year and that my folks survived the hurricanes. Lot of damage down here, it's a real shame. It took a lot out of people.

Many blessing & wishes to you all today. Thanks for always reading and checking in with me.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

"Welcome, Nasim Edwin!"

It's A Boy
Nasim Edwin entered the world yesterday with a little complication (he hadn't turned all the way) but we're sure glad he made it here safely. Issame's friend Adil (we call him Vin Diesel) and his wife Vanessa had their first little boy yesterday. Issame and Adil grew up together in Morocco and they've asked us to be Nasim's godparents.

I know the question came up Islam? godparents? You're right, there is no such thing as godparents in the Muslim religion. To the best of my knowledge it only happens in the Catholic church. Two people assume your spiritual responsibilty from the time of Baptism. Why they chose godparents i think is for 2 reasons: 1) Vanessa is Puerto Rican and I think it plays more of a culturally role than a religious one and b) they originally asked us to be legal guardians which we thought was a pretty heavy request considering well, considering a whole lot of things. I know why they picked us, because we're a culurally mixed couple and over the past year or so, we've all kind if gotten a little bit closer together. We understand the struggles and challenges they go through with society, family and friends. Plus according to other people's eyes, Issame & I make all this look easy. Little do they know, heh heh heh! Obviously, those are the people not reading the blog.

Mosque Yesterday, my Islamic architecture class met at the largest mosque in New York City to look at the architecture and learn a little something more about Islam. I can't say from a factual end that I learned anything new, but I did learn two new spiritual things about myself. One, this is the right path for me, and not just because Issame's on it too. The whole topic of wearing hajib (the veil) came up and I don't see it as a constricting tool. Heck, if the Virgin Mary can wear it, so can the rest of us right? But it is a challenge because not everyone thinks the same. I also feel like if I'm not wearing it and people engage in conversation with me and then find out I'm muslim, their image and poerspective of the people and the religion change. It's like I infiltrate he infidel lines and teahc them something about myself and maybe themselves as well. I also learned that I need to start praying. You exercise and eat right for your body's health, read and educate yourself for mental health, what about my spiritual health? Maybe I combined totally of 20-30 minutes a day of stopping to wash and then pray. Really not that big if a deal--think about how many crunches I could do or candy bars I could eat or pages from my textbook?

The other thing I learned is that I alone have the power, the authority and the ability to change myself. If I can control my desires for eating for 30 days in Ramadan, why can't I alsways do that and not be overweight? I'm proud of what I accomplished this Ramadan and want to continue to do good things for my body. So why don't I?

Anyway, I'm getting ready to leave for Florida on Tuesday. I'll have more time to blog and post pictures from Morocco (Soufiane: hang in there, Issame is making me a cd with all the photos, I will be sure to send them to you. Sorry it's taken us so long to get it together.). I'll also be working on my 15 page paper about the functions of Ottoman architecture through the eyes of one Lady Mary Wortley Montagu during 1717-1719. What fun!!!

Friday, November 19, 2004


There was a manhole fire on Wall Street which has burned all the communication wires, we were without internet for a day and we've been without a phone since Wednesday. Plus I got a virus on my computer so blogging has been bumped down. Thought I'd share a photo from Morocco. Taken by me, in the city of El Jedida while Issame & I were walking on the beach in the late afternoon. Posted by Hello

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

"Give It To Me...Uh, Homer?"

After the weekend I had, I thought we could all use a good laugh (once again at my expense) The night before Eid, I had a strange, quasi-sex dream about this guy...


I've heard people say that, Too much of anything is not good for you, baby. But I don't know about that. As many times as we've loved, We've shared love and made love, It doesn't seem to me like it's enough, There's just not enough, baby There's just not enough, Oh, oh, baby Uh-uh--Barry White Posted by Hello

Fortunately for me, I woke up before Homer could show me his doughnut (hee hee). But poor Issame is now scarred for life, after I told him who my main man now is. What will Marge think? If anything, I've shone this as an example of what can go wrong while fasting. Mohammed got the Koran and I got molested by a cartoon.

Monday, November 15, 2004

"My Weekend As An Imperfect Fatty"

Greetings one and all!
Mubarak Eid! Happy Holiday! Eid Greeting

Well, its official, Ramadan ended for us on Saturday. And to be quite frank, I couldn't be happier.

I kept to many of my pledges:

  • drank a lot of water when I could
  • started out taking my vitamins but then because I didn't have enough food in my system, they were making me sick
  • exercised once but walked everywhere
  • i lost 6 lbs as opposed to the 5 I normally put on
  • read the Koran or listened to it (at least in the beginning)

I didn't go to the mosque this year or pray like I should--I'm not there yet, I guess. I cured like a sailor--need to work on that for next year.

So this is how my holiday weekend went:

Up late Friday night cleaning the place, cause our house is Ramadan central. Then got up early on Saturday to start making breakfast for 20 while the guys are at the mosque. The door opens and the only people to walk in are Issame & his brother. And I'm waiting for the rest of the tribe to saunter in. No such luck. So the 3 of us eat. Then, literally one-by-one, people come in so there I am racing back & forth re-heating things (without a microwave) and re-washing coffee mugs (cause honestly, who owns more than a set of four or eight mugs).

In the midst of all this, work wanted me to go in to re-package two boxes (weighing 50 lbs) and send it Fedex that didn;t arrive by UPS in time. I tell them the Fedex office in our building isn't open, so by myself I'd have to lug 2 boxes weighing 50 pounds into a cab to another fedex location and spend hundreds of dollars to ship books that we're now not going to make a profit off of. It will take me over an hour and a half to get there and I've got people in my house on my holiday. Anyway, it didn't happen

Then more people (uninvited) show up and Issame tells me that we don't have enough food for lunch. "Tough!", I say. No one brought goodies or beverages to our house so they'll eat what they can get. So 10 of us sat around our coffee table and ate a great lunch that Issame made. Then everyone dispersed.

You think this would be the end to our day but nooooooooo! I find out on Friday night, that we've been invited to a Baby Shower at 4:30 on Saturday. I had no time to buy a gift, and to top it all off, the couple (guy-Moroccan, girl-Puerto Rican) have asked us to be the baby's godparents. So the godparents show up to the party without a gift or an envelope. Now at the same time we arrive at the party, a new batch of people are on their way to our house for dinner. This dinner is to help one of Issame's friend's marry this very, very strict religious girl-but I'll get to her in a minute.

Back to the Baby Shower, so we think it's just a quick, quiet get together right? Nope! They've rented a restaurant with a dj. Everyone is dressed super nice, and we're in jeans. Plus, Vanessa just told her parents that Issame & I are the baby's godparents. Well, that didn't fly to well with Mom. The parents have never met us and so the Mom didn't realize I was standing right there when she started talking about me. Ok, imagine the whole head bobbing, finger snapping, Latina hip gestures when she says this: "Yeah, let me meet this "godmother" I don't know who the hell she is, making this girl a godmother I never met before, where the hell is she?" Turn to Stacey's embarrassed face as I hold out my hand to a cold claw.

So, to top it all off, we, the godparents, show up without a gift and we need to leave cause we've got people waiting for us in the house. Going to hell, I tell ya. So we get back to the house (Forgetting to mention: the brief bliss then argument we had in the cab when Issame starts talking about babies and then says forget it!)

So now, we're back in the house: there's me & Issame, this other couple we invited, Issame's brother and what should have just been Hasan & this girl he wants to marry Khadija. But in addition, (being a nomadic people) Khadija has brought an entourage because she's a strict muslim and won't go out of her house with out a male & female family member. So I've got 2 additional strangers in my house, and the poor cat is looking to me like: "Why Momma, Why?

So hugs & kisses with apologies and holiday greetings. God bless Hasan for having prepared all the food at his house so all we had to do was re-heat everything. So I had met this chick about 4 years ago when she was trying to warm up to another of Issame's friends. So I sit down with her and the two other girls to chit chat. Khadija goes to me, "Stacey, you've put on some weight since I last saw you, you use to be perfect and well now, you've put on so much weight." Oh yes, she said that! So I get up, say nothing to her, I'm about to head into my room to go to bed cause I am done but on my way there, Hasan asks me if he can go down our side entrance to smoke, I go to show him out and then fall down the stairs on my imperfect fat ass.

Dinner is served shortly after that and I don't eat anything cause I'm too busy glaring fire darts at Miz-My-Uni-Brow-Got-Thicker-Since-I-Last Saw-You Khadija. She leaves and I tell Issame what happens and he doesn't believe me. He thinks it must have been a communication error. So I had to ask his friend's wife to tell him what happened. Then this fuels a huge fight between me and Issame about how inconsiderate and insensitive he can be and then I went to bed.

And to think, this was only Saturday.

Sunday I went out by myself to a viewing of some Latin American art that's going up for auction at Sotheby's, then met Ann and we went shopping for baby clothes and ate cheeseburgers and onion rings at Johnny Rockets. The UPS thing still hasn't been settled as of Monday morning and I'm ready to quit at this point.

I WIN!!!

Fat Woman 4

Friday, November 12, 2004

"Tryin 2 Survive"

This has been a nightmarish week for me.

Let's see on top of all the standard stress of my life: work, grad school & Ramadan, I survived a family feud, a sick cat with spaghetti worms (please don't ask), annoyed co-workers, an office building with no heat, a new phone system that I don't exist on and the cold rain.

And my SIL is coming in a few (maybe 2) weeks.

Yes, I want a medal! And I would like it made out of chocolate!

I may go to H-E-L-L for saying this but please let Ramadan be over tomorrow!

To make up for my bad mood and lack of posts, here's a bunch of fun links most of them compliments of this blog I frequent.

Republic of New York
Belated Halloween Fun
Why You Shouldn't Post Your Photo on the Internet
Play Cannibals & Missionaries

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

"Mind & Hearts At Ease?"

A co-worker sent this to me, I thought it might help some people.

Looking for America
By Kevin Powell

“Few of us will have the will to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.”--ROBERT F. KENNEDY

“I have always kept an open mind, which is necessary to the flexibility that must go hand in hand with every form of intelligent search for truth.”--MALCOLM X

I have sat in my Brooklyn, New York apartment, quietly, for nearly a week now, too perplexed to talk with many people, friends or not, about the American presidential election of 2004. I have read mainstream and alternative news accounts of the campaign on and offline, absorbed statistics and exit polls, sifted through the debates, flipped between CNN and the Fox News Channel, dodged most emails and phonecalls coming my way, asking me what I thought it meant that President George W. Bush had won, that Senator John Kerry had lost. I have heard the chorus of Bush supporters say it was Mr. Bush’s “faith” that led them to punch the hole, to pull the lever, to touch the screen for the president-elect. And I have heard the chorus of Kerry patrons say they feel robbed, that there must be some vast conservative conspiracy, that they are deeply traumatized, in a state of shock, that they do not know what to do next, nor to whom to turn. I have spoken with my mother, who has voted in every election since she has been able to, dating back to the 1960s and the Civil Rights Movement. And who, with her sharp South Carolina accent and uncomplicated, front-porch observations on the world, has always given me something to ponder. My mother, like I, is a lifelong Democrat and her sleepy response was, well, dry, nonchalant, uncharacteristically melancholy: “Boy,” she said, “at least we got the chance to vote.”

Indeed, mother, indeed. But has it come to this? Where real democracy, real freedom, real self-determination, is tied, exclusively, to our right to vote? Is the vote it? Twenty years ago, when I was an eighteen-year-old first-year college student at Rutgers University in New Jersey, the vote was the thing. I was stirred by a Southern Baptist preacher named Reverend Jesse Jackson, who, after Congresswoman Shirley Chisolm had done it in 1972, was the only other serious Black candidate for president my community has ever had. Reverend Jackson implored us, young and old alike, Black, White, Latino, Asian, Native American, to keep hope alive, that we were, in fact, somebody, and we believed him, believed that our vote could, would, matter. President Ronald Reagan was reelected, in a landslide that year, and by 1988, when Rev. Jackson ran a second time for president, and came in second in the Democratic primary to eventual nominee Michael Dukakis, many of us felt that Rev. Jackson, with those millions of rainbow coalition votes, had the power, the juice, to manifest a new American coalition of progressive people: Blacks, Whites, Latinos, Asians, Native Americans, labor, city and country folks, working and middle class people humane enough to care about their neighbors to the left and right; and all those groups that had been marginalized during the Reagan-Bush years. It was, we felt back then, an opportunity to win back the soul of the Democratic Party, to have a party, an organization, that truly reflected the diversity, the gorgeous mosaic, as former New York City mayor David Dinkins was fond of saying, of America. But, alas, and for reasons only Rev. Jackson knows to this day, a great compromise was struck, the rainbow coalition was allowed to wither on an ashen sidewalk in exchange for Rev. Jackson’s seemingly cozy relationship with Democratic Party hierarchy, and many of us young folks became disillusioned with politics for years to come.

I was one of those young people, at age 22, who walked away in 1988, right through the Clinton years, and in spite of Mr. Clinton’s youthful appeal and Kennedyesque affectations. I never stopped voting. I could not fathom that inaction as my mother chided me, habitually, that there was a time when we, African Americans, could not vote, that I had an obligation to do so for no other reason that blood, literally, had been spilled, that heads had been smashed, literally, so that I could have a semblance of citizenship in these times.

I say all of this to say it hurt me, immensely, to see so many young Americans, of various persuasions, registering to vote for the first time, volunteering for Mr. Kerry’s campaign throughout America, standing in lines in some areas for up to ten hours, then having to deal with the harsh reality that their candidate had lost. It hurt me to see the tears of defeat, to hear the echoes of Hey, it does not seem to matter what we do, nothing is ever going to change. There is a sense of confusion, of hopelessness, permeating young America, older America, Democratic America, liberal America, progressive America. Many people believed that MTV, BET, Rock the Vote, the NAACP, the League of Women Voters, Russell Simmons, Oprah Winfrey, P. Diddy, Leonardo DiCaprio, Emimem, Michael Moore, and other popular and well-meaning institutions and icons could, and would, make a difference. Several people believed that because of the Iraqi war, the horrible economy, the outsourcing of American jobs, the ugly partitions that have been erected on our soil during the Bush-Cheney years (Black vs. White, White vs. people of color, Christian vs. Muslim, Americans vs. Arabs, poor vs. rich, straight vs. gay, and so on), that there was no imaginable way that Mr. Bush could get reelected. Many of us assumed, hoped, prayed, that John Kerry, though a mediocre candidate at best, would somehow win this election and get America back on the course of figuring itself out, for the good of us all.

But perhaps this is where the mistake began. We placed more faith in one person, Senator John Kerry, than we placed in ourselves. When Mr. Bush was awarded the presidency in December 2000, after a long and acidic fight that wound up in the United States Supreme Court, I did not, could not, read the newspapers nor watch the news for several months. I felt cheated, that a high crime had occurred. This was the sentiment of many Americans. But while we stuck our heads in the sand the Bush-Cheney regime took root, its agenda took flight, and before we knew it a tax cut was passed that greatly benefited the rich, September 11 happened, a war on terrorism began, and we invaded, first, Afghanistan, then Iraq. Civil liberties have been eroded under the heading The Patriot Act. And over 1000 American soldiers, mainly young Americans, have lost their lives to date. And the count for dead Iraqis is 100,000, according to several reports. So we have essentially been in reactionary mode the entire time; we being liberals, progressives, the Democratic Party. We being Americans who know that America does not belong to one particular party, to one particular ideology, to one particular race of people, to one particular history, to one particular God. And as we have been playing catch up, the incredibly wealthy leadership of the Republican Party has pandered, so very effectively, and with the help a well-oiled propaganda and marketing initiative, via, among other instruments, talk radio, to blue-collar, rural White Americans, in the Midwest, in the Deep South, catering to their most basic thoughts about God, religion and, if we are to be mad truthful, to their fears and prejudices. I was just in the great state of Ohio a couple of days after the election, and it was striking to be in areas where some of the poorest Whites lived but there, on the windows of their homes, on their pick-up trucks, stamped into their minds, was some symbol (a poster, a bumper sticker, a hunch) that Bush and Cheney were on the right side of God. Somewhere, some time ago, the Democratic Party ceased to be the party of the people, and we have no one to blame but ourselves. We have developed very few leaders who know how to talk with and listen to the masses of Americans. We have shied away from what the party had been about, at least on the surface, during Franklin Roosevelt’s tenure, and as manifested in the thoughtful dreams of Bobby Kennedy in 1968, of his brother Ted at the Democratic National Convention in 1980, and of Reverend Jackson for much of the 1980s. And we have allowed the Republicans to paralyze us with paranoia and inertia, thereby forcing us, again and again, to replicate strands of the Republican agenda rather than fulfill our mission of doing what is right, for the people, all people, all the time. I now wonder how many leaders in the Democratic Party actually even spend consistent time in their respective communities, in the ghettoes, in the backwoods, in the suburbs, on college campuses, in the churches, at prisons, at homeless shelters, at battered women’s facilities, interacting with the people, and not just when it is time to rally the troops for votes?

I can say this because, for sure, I have been fortunate, very fortunate, these last several years, dating back to the mid-1990s, to travel America extensively as a public speaker, a political organizer, and a writer, to see life in this nation beyond my city, county, state, region, and I have visited nearly all fifty states, big cities and small towns, densely populated locales and places where I did not see another person for miles at a time. These trips have given me a very different take on America. A fuller, more comprehensive take. While we remain a nation still embarrassingly segregated due to race, gender, class, region, religion, sexual orientation, and the like, I am also struck by the common stories of alienation, of the multitudes living on the frayed fringes of this so-called democratic nation. There was the middle-aged White gentleman in New Hampshire I met back in January, at the tip-off to the presidential crusade, who told me he was a Vietnam veteran, that he was driving the cab I was in because there were no jobs for him, that he was on welfare and ridiculously destitute, that he felt the government had been neglectful, woefully neglectful, of Vietnam War veterans. That he was not going to vote, and, as a matter of fact, he had not voted in over twenty years. When I asked him why not he said, with contempt at the borders of his mouth, that politicians did not care about people like him. When I asked which politicians, he muttered, All of them. There was the Black man, early 40ish, in Texas, Mr. Bush’s home state, whom I met only a week or so ago, who, when in his twenties during the Reagan 80s, was falsely accused and convicted of raping a White female. His jury was composed of 11 Whites, 10 men and one woman, and, sadly, in a state like Texas, with its history of sadistic racism (let us not forget that semi-retarded Black man, James Byrd, who was tied to the back of a truck a few years back, by bigoted and demented White males, and dragged to his death) this gentleman did not stand a chance. He lost his youth, he lost his innocence, he lost chunks of his sanity while in prison for a crime he did not commit, and only the use of a DNA test exonerated him, right at the start of Mr. Bush’s first term in office. This man now carries in his hip pocket crumpled copies of articles about his case, as well as a crumpled copy of his official pardon, as if he were in another time in American history where one, if Black, had to carry around his or her freedom papers to prove, without question, that one was free. And I have mentally recorded more tales than I can recount in this space, but the point is that America, this country, our country, continues to be stuck, spiritually, emotionally, in spite of the proclamations of democracy, of equal opportunity, of being one nation under God (which God, and for who?), of this being the greatest show on earth. If all of us are not completely free, and free in every sense of the word, then, dear friend, none of us are as free as we have been led to believe. And what, pray tell, is freedom, anyhow, and what is democracy, when in the alleged most democratic nation in the universe millions upon millions of human beings wondered, and still wonder, if their vote was actually counted on Tuesday, November 2, 2004, and why, for God’s sake, did some of them have to present an I.D. or otherwise prove why they have the right to vote in the year 2004? Is that being free after all that has happened to make the vote accessible to anyone qualified to vote?

Well, we certainly were not free at the Democratic National Convention in Boston back in July. As happy as I was to be there I could not help but think, far inside the marrow of my Democratic bones, that it was a charade, a hoax. There was no far-reaching vision, no expansive, humanistic agenda, no imaginative leadership, just, with the exception of brilliant speeches by Hillary and Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, and the Rev. Al Sharpton, a lot of empty rhetoric and unsophisticated retorts to the Bush-Cheney platform. It was evident to me that while the Dems had more A-list celebrities, threw better parties, allowed hiphop, the forever controversial yet dominant culture of our day, into its sacred halls, it was all dental floss distorting the fact we had, and have, no teeth on the left, and, really though, have been missing our teeth for some time now. A month later I attended the Republican National Convention here in New York City and you could feel the focus, the vision, however myopic, and the battle plan. While the Dems barely spoke of faith, of religion, of spirituality, the Republicans spoke of it every chance they got, and they monopolized the market on moral values. The perception became the reality: the right is of God and the left is of the devil. And the Democratic Party, the liberals, the progressives, or whatever we label ourselves, have allowed the right to act as if they are more in step with God, with morality, with spirituality, with personal virtue, than we are. This is sheer lunacy, from my perspective as an African American, given that practically every movement, from the anti-slavery rumblings of the 1800s right through the Civil Rights era of the 1950s and 1960s, has been led by the spiritual leaders of my community, of individuals who had a deep belief in a higher power, no matter what we called that higher power. And we were always clear that we were on the right side of God, that religion was about liberating and uniting people, not oppressing and dividing the multitudes. Certainly, we Americans who do not suffer from selective amnesia know something of the hypocrisy of racist White American Christians and their skill at distorting God’s words to suit their needs. Let us not forget that there was a time when these very types of Christians manipulated and abused the bible to justify slavery, for nearly three centuries. Let us not forget that there was a time when these very types of Christians turned their noses up and turned their backs on Jews as they were being stuff into Holocaust ovens in Germany. And let us not forget that there was a time when these types of Christians, under the guise of representing the true intentions of the Lord, physically assaulted Civil Rights marchers, Black and nonBlacks alike, in places like Alabama (down South) and Illinois (up North).

The point, dear reader, is that much of the Bush-Cheney agenda has everything to do with fear, with playing to folks’ base bigotries. The Southern White Democrats of the 1950s and 1960s (popularly known, then, as “Dixiecrats”) used the race card and their interpretation of Christianity to attack the Civil Rights Movement, then slowly but surely championed a mass exodus of the party (as Negroes got they right to vote) to become the driving force, all these years later, of those too many to count red Republican states we see today. While the race card is still used, albeit in more guarded, coded language, this year the taboo topic was homosexuality, or, rather, same-sex marriages. And what does it mean that right-wing Republicans, during an election year, can play political football with this polarizing subject, get it on the ballot in several states, while Vice-President Dick Cheney’s daughter, who is openly gay, is there at the post-election victory celebration, shoulder to shoulder with her lover, her partner, being photographed for the world to see? What kind of hypocrisy is that? Or, better yet, does it not suggest, we people of moral conscience, that many Americans have someone in our lives, a sister, a brother, a son, a daughter, a cousin, a friend, someone from our childhood, someone from high school or college, a coworker, a neighbor, a church member, a pastor (gasp!), who is gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, just as Dick Cheney does, but we are too ashamed to recognize their humanity, their existence, so terrified, in fact, to do so, that the Republicans can steamroll in and make homosexuality one of the central issues on which we are deemed as spineless, and lacking in morality? Why did anyone not say, boldly, Look, homie, Dr. King, a man of God, a Christian, a Christian minister, a Christian scholar, worked with Bayard Rustin, a gay man, who was the chief architect of the March on Washington in 1963? Dr. King may not have agreed with Mr. Rustin’s life path, but he at least respected the man’s genius, the man’s work ethic, the man’s humanity, the man’s quest for democracy, the man’s right to exist. And what could be more Christian than that? And who among us is God, himself, herself, itself, that we are in a position to say what form a person’s life should take anyhow?

But we on the left, as Newark, New Jersey Deputy Mayor Ras Baraka has said of the hiphop generation, need to grow up. Grow up and ask ourselves what do we, in fact, believe in? What are our moral values, our spiritual values? There are many Americans, in the Deep South, in middle America, who believe we have no principles whatsoever, that we believe in nothing more than having a good time. Any extreme is dangerous. That means the extreme of blind religious zealotry, but also the extreme of no boundaries, no agenda, in any form, for our lives, for this nation. Where, then, is the middle ground, where are our souls, and where is the soul of America, or are we simply destined for a certain kind of hell these next four years, and beyond?

As I continue to struggle and grow in my spiritual walk, in my Christian walk, in my human walk, I am clear that I don’t want to go to hell, nor do I want life in America, for any of us, to be a hellish nightmare. Nor do I believe that the 4 million votes that separated President Bush from Senator Kerry constitutes a mandate. We need to state, emphatically, that it does not. Mr. Bush may be the president, Republicans may control both the Senate and the House of Representatives, but the struggle has only begun. Our work was not in vain. I feel we have awakened a sleeping giant, or, more importantly, the giants, the leaders, in any of us who care about real democracy, real freedom, real self-determination, real people power. The younger Americans who became passionate about politics, about life, about living, in 2004, give me hope. Hope in spite of the fact that more bodybags will come home from Iraq. Hope in spite of the fact that extreme poverty is as deadly in America’s ghettoes as it is in any so-called third world nation. Hope in spite of the ugly divides, the intolerance, the lack of humanity we often show to each other. Hope in spite of the fact that the budget deficit will continue to force this nation to it knees, and in spite of the fact that unemployment and despair has reached epidemic levels unseen since the Great Depression of the 1930s. Undoubtedly, I think all of us, myself included, because of Tuesday, November 2, 2004, must do a gut check, confront our personal demons (I assuredly have mine and have no problem, none whatsoever, owning them and working through them), shovel the debris surrounding our souls, struggle against our blatant contradictions, think, hard, about all the unnecessary fights, arguments, petty jealousies, juvenile competitions, pathetic trips into backbiting and gossip and ask ourselves, amidst another term of Bush-Cheney, Is this the best we can be in America? Is this what I, we, desire to be, an utterly imperfect human being, wallowing and content to be in a state of arrested development for the remainder of my natural life?

I am not going to surrender the moral high ground, any longer, to these right-wing activists who pretend to care about the average American, and really do not. And you should cease surrendering as well, if you truly care about freedom and democracy. For if we capitulate in this arena we will never be able to have any fruitful discussions, debates, and actions about the Iraqi War, this destructive economy, the lost jobs, nor about race, gender, class, religion, sexuality, poverty, hunger, homelessness, the environment, the Palestinian-Israeli conflict, the genocidal mayhem in the Sudan, the crisis in Haiti, and every other human drama that demands our attention. And at the end of the day it should not matter whether one is Black, White, Latino, Asian, Native American, or Arab; liberal or conservative; a Democrat or a Republican; Christian, Jew, or Muslim; what should matter is what type of human being you are, what type of human being you aspire to be, and whether you have any regard, any concern, any God-given compassion, true compassion, not just lip service, for other human beings.

And what do we do with that true compassion? Well, if we did not learn any other lesson from the tragedy of September 11, 2001, we should have at least learned this: As the Twin Towers were hit by those two jumbo airliners, as those buildings came crashing from the sky to the earth, as bodies leaped from windows or were crushed beneath the force of that concrete and steel, at that very moment suddenly trivial categories like race, gender, age, class, sexual orientation, religion, status in society, did not matter. What mattered, on that day, was how one had lived one’s life, what one had done with one’s life, to advance humanity, be it via the tiniest of baby steps. That is the kind of American I yearn to meet, the kind of America I am looking for.

America did not begin as a real democracy, and in spite of the changes, the upheavals, the lives lost, the sacrifices made, we are still not there, yet. Mr. Bush and his crew need to think again if they believe, truly, that the American people have spoken. No, the last word has not been uttered, the last battle has not been waged. The freedom fighter legacy represents the America I am looking for. Freedom fighter as in Patrick Henry and Harriet Tubman. Freedom fighter as in Cesar Chavez and Fannie Lou Hamer. Freedom fighter as in the multicultural young leadership of today, of young people with names like Billy Wimsatt, Rosa Clemente, L. Joy Williams, Jeff Chang, Farai Chideya, and T.J. Crawford. Freedom fighter as in the millions of young people who voted in this presidential election, who understand, clearly, that they, we, younger Americans, are the leadership we are waiting for. What would the so-called American democracy look like if these folks had not existed, if they did not exist today?

I am looking for an America that will acknowledge, finally, its history of taking Native American land; of using free Black labor to build this nation; of treating women as objects, as invisible, second-class citizens; of viewing Latinos as nonspeaking nuisances to be seen, worked to death, but not heard; of marginalizing and excluding, at different times in our history, among many others, the women, the Chinese, the Jews, the Irish, Italians; of scapegoating and isolating the Japanese and, in this new millennium, Arabs, Muslims, gays and lesbians. I am looking for an America that will acknowledge that this nation would not exist were it not for the Native American, the Blacks, the women, the Latinos, the Chinese, the Jews, the Irish, the Italians, the Japanese, the Arabs, the straight, the gay, the liberal, the conservative, the me, the you.

I am looking for an America that respects every explanation for life, for the creator, the lifegiver, the higher power, that entity some of us may refer to as God, that others may refer to as Allah. I am looking for an America that ceases to refer to itself as a Christian nation but, instead, as a nation of many faiths, or many spiritual walks, a nation that has a tolerance and a patience not just for Christians, but also for Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Rastafarians, Yorubas, all the many belief systems that manifest themselves daily within these borders.

I am looking for an America that does not rely on celebrities, on superstars, to be the leaders of the people, but understands that the real celebrities, the real superstars, the real leaders, are the mill workers, the secretaries, the construction workers, the teachers, the layers of cables and telephone lines, the postal workers, the artists, the grassroots organizers, the bus drivers, the home health aides, like my mother, the military veterans, like my uncle.

I am looking for an America that will have the courage to abolish the electoral college once and for all, that will have the audacity to create uniform and modern voting methods across the land, that will not seek to disenfranchise the most vulnerable persons in this society from their God-given right to be free, to speak their minds without fear of punishment or alienation. I am looking for an America that will no longer attempt to teach other nations how to make democracy work until we get it right, and working, here at home.

I am looking for an America that will raise the minimum wage, provide more money for public school education and less for war, an America that will really rehabilitate prison inmates, that will insure that elders, like my mother, can afford their prescription drugs and have a Social Security program that acknowledges what they have given to this country by way of labor, taxes, and endless loyalty.

And I am looking for an America where through much defeat and pain and suffering we can birth new possibilities, new ways of being and doing. We are not losers, friends, those of us who voted for Mr. Kerry, or, in some instances, against Mr. Bush. I am not, and neither are you. We who believe in real democracy, in real freedom, in real self-determination, who believe in the creative force or forces that placed us on this planet, who believe in the possibilities of humankind, in truth, in justice, in life, who believed that our efforts, our sweat, our vote, could and would count a few days ago, on Tuesday, November 2, 2004, here in America, have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing at all. Nor should we see the reelection of President George W. Bush, and the defeat of Senator John Kerry as the beginning of a great catastrophe for us, for this country. No, what we have is a beginning, a start, with necessary speed bumps along the way. But the questions remain for all of us to ponder. What are we going to do to create the America, to create the world, we so desire? And are we, each of us, willing to look within ourselves for that answer?

Kevin Powell is an essayist, poet, journalist, community activist, public speaker, hiphop historian, college lecturer, and the author of six books, including his most recent, /Who’s Gonna Take The Weight? Manhood, Race, and Power in America/. Powell's next project, /Someday We’ll All Be Free/, will be published in the Fall 2005 and will feature three original essays on American democracy, American leadership, and the American dream. Powell is also at work on his childhood memoir, /homeboy alone/, and his second volume of poetry, /My Own Private Ghetto/. A former senior writer for /Vibe/ magazine (where he wrote several cover stories, among them the definitive pieces on the late rapper Tupac Shakur), Powell’s essays, articles, and reviews have appeared in numerous publications over the past 18 years, including the /Washington Post/, /Essence/, /Rolling Stone/, /Newsweek/, and the /Amsterdam News/. Kevin Powell regularly comments on political and cultural issues for all forms of media, and he has been involved in many organizations and social movements since his teen years. Powell initially came to national notice as a cast member on the very first season of MTV’s “The Real World,” New York City, in 1992. A native of Jersey City, New Jersey, Powell has been based in Brooklyn, New York for several years.

Kevin Powell can be reached at _kevinpowellNYC@aol.com
Saluting The Flag

Monday, November 08, 2004


Issame getting down with his bad (& very cute) self Posted by Hello


All the cousins except for two (my bro Ed & cousin Lauren) first time we're all together in 7+ years. Janet & I in the front and back row: David, Kevin, Tommy (all 3 bros) and Steven & Jim (bros) Posted by Hello


Janet & (l to r) David, Tommy & Kevin Posted by Hello


Janet and Amos cutting the cake. Doesn't she look beautiful? Posted by Hello

"So Much to Tell & No Time"

Bounce
I've got a lot to share but have been swamped with work and school. Sorry folks, something had to give. I will update you further on what's been going on.

In the meantime, let's celebrate my cousin Janet getting married to Amos
(Am uploading some pics)

Congrats to her brother (my cousin) Tommy for running and actually finishing the NY Marathon in under 6 hours. Go Tommy!
Sprinting

Will provide more details tonight or tomorrow......

Thursday, November 04, 2004

"I'm A Botero"


Posted by Hello
So a couple of nights ago, I took off the rose-colored glasses and took a look in the mirror--not a good long hard look cause I would have gone blind but one of those quick unadulterated glances that just revealed the truth to me. Ugh!

On a happier less bloated note:

HAPPY 32nd ANNIVERSARY
MOM & DAD!!!
Bride & Groom

Some advice from the happy couple:

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. -Mignon McLaughlin


Wednesday, November 03, 2004

"Everything But That..."


 Posted by Hello

This is my new boyfriend Andrew Naveen, some of you may recognize him from The English Patient. Now I get to see him once a week on ABC's The Lost. I don;t really watch the show, I just watch out for him.

I'm not surprised by what's going on at all...I just don't want to talk about it. I want it all over.

I got my midterm back last night.....another A.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004


Today is the day. Posted by Hello

Monday, November 01, 2004


 Posted by Hello


Some Halloween leftovers Posted by Hello

"Ramadan Coma"

Doofus Now you've all heard of the sticky sweet bliss of a sugar coma well, I'm trapped in its evil twin sisters grasp of the Ramadan coma which I need to get a reprieve from the Prophet (pbuh). This is turning out to be one of the longest, hardest and worst Ramadan's ever. I don't know, maybe there'll all this bad and I just spend 11 months repressing the experience.

Alarm Clock Daylight Savings Debacle
I ask, does anything need to change for Daylight Savings? Issame & his brother's response..."NO!" Get up on Sunday, I'm in the middle of getting my grub on when his brother comes out and says we're late. I say no we're not, yes, we are back & forth. So turns out his brother was right and says, "I knew it all along." Well then, why the heck didn't you fill the rest of the team in before. Oh, I was livid!

Halloween Happiness
Buddy & I had a fun time handing out candy to the kids. I tried stuffing him in one of the kids bags but the little bugger popped right out. This was the first time I ever actually ran out of candy. We usually get about 5-8 kids, this time we had about 25+. I had to close the door and turn the lights out so no one else would ring the bell.
Toilet Paper House


Sharing Popcorn Later on, Issame & I actually got to have a movie date. We have an extra bedroom which I try to convert on occasion into a movie theater so he & I can go on a date without spending any money. We can also close the door and get some smooching on. We watched "Secret Window" with Johnny Depp. It's based on a Stephen King story. It was ok, a little predictable, not Johnny's best but I see why he did it.

I didn't realize how much I needed that time with him until we were there. Cheered Up He was happy about it too. Then we fell asleep on the futon. It was like when we were dating.

"A simple enough pleasure, surely, to have breakfast alone with one's husband, but how seldom married people in the midst of life achieve it."
Anne Morrow Lindbergh