"No One Said It Would Be Easy..."

...then again, no one said it would be this hard.

What am I talking about?

MARRIAGE.

The top 2 things couples argue about the most are 1) Sex and 2) Money. We solved the first one by being good at it. I'm not bragging here, I'm liberating. Why make something that's suppose to be enjoyable hard work. It's the one opportunity where the two of you can express yourselves openly and honestly. Money, well we have very little of it to start but we made a very conscious decision to keep things completely separate. We're aware of the others amount of debt and savings and how the prior so out weights the later. We both work hard to save and pay off debt but who knows if we'll ever have it all. I once explained my financial situation to an AMEX Financial advisor and she thought our plan was brilliant. We have love, trust and friendship, I believe that the $$$ will come.

No, the thing we argue about the most is:

TIME

Not enough of it spent on me and what I want is my argument, his is that I worry about it too much. Some of this I don't know if its a case of MMIS (Moroccan Machismo Idiot Syndrome) or just a simple case of MIS (Machismo Idiot Syndrome. Whatever it is, I need a cure and I need one quickly. Preferably one that would cause him a bit of pain and discomfort. A boot kick to the ass perhaps?

I have my things, Ihave my interests but if you were to ask him what they were well, he'd fail at every question. There are only so many times I can sit on the sidelines and watch him play soccer with his buds. Quality time spent with my butt kissing the ground. Not what I had planned or hope for.

We joke and laugh at times about how Americans are raised. I'm a product of a 30 year plus marriage. I was trapped in a house with two soul mates joined at the lips. My mother giving everything to my father, and he returning the love. My standard on love is so high my mom once told me that I was setting myself up for failure. On the other hand, you have someone who is a product of not only divorce but abandonment in a country and a religion that does not allow such things. At the same time you are not allowed to show affection in public. But this is who I get my biggest and most criticism from about how kids are raised in the US.

I'm frustarted because this is a 6 year old argument that still burns me and I've lost the words to articulate my argument. I've resorted to door slamming, pillow beating and cursing like a sailor. I even have a bag packed for such an occassion that this argument flairs up, I can pull out the old overnight bag prop and see if I get a reaction then. I just can't take the dramatics anymore-- I've run out of materials and props.

Maybe I expect too much? Maybe this isn't meant to be? Habibi hopes that my American Apple Pie Prince will come for me someday. I just hope some day Habibi realizes that its a Shebekkia Sheik I want.